Wardrobe Malfunction to the Max

I was wearing one of my spiffy new suits. A great Navy pantsuit quickly on its way to becoming my favorite. At about 3pm I was bending over, crouching really, to move some boxes. What the fuck is going on, I thought, what's that noise? Oh holly shit bags. My pants have ripped in the bum. This seems bad. I quickly turned around and glued my ass to the desk. Lucky for me, a co-intern had been wearing a long sweater-jacket thing that could cover this up. Even luckier, it was brown which would almost work with the navy pants, white shell, camel shoes I had going. Another intern was in my office at the time so I asked her to go down the hall and get co-intern 1's sweater for me. She did. I covered up and ran to the bathroom to inspect the damage. The pants had ripped the entire way along the seam from the back of the waistband to mid crotch. With co-intern's sweater I managed to make it through the rest of the day. When I went into co-intern's office to thank her and negotiate keeping the jacket until tomorrow, her supervising attorney smiled at me and played the "You Had a Bad Day" song they played on American Idol when people were voted off. Brilliant. J-Crew will get a lovely piece of my mind and I will be demanding a refund or store credit of full purchase price. I will even exagerate the story if need be. Like: I was in court and this happened in front of the judge!!