::

I find it fascinating that my score is actually going down with each set of evidence multiple choice questions that I do.

Why do I still care about grades?

Just checked them and now I'm annoyed. I got a B on a take home. I should be okay with it. I graduated and will stay that way unless I fail something (hello, corporations). I should let it go and focus on that more important thing in front of me. I spent over half of the week that take home was due in Florida. But participation was something like 20% of our grade and I participated so I still feel shafted.

Notes to self

A friend gifted me with "stuff for my desk" for graduation(including a girly calandar which was funny but is beside the point). So, I posted an "S" sticky note in front of me that says, "THIS IS THE BAR." To cover a little chip in the wall that drives me batty, I posted, "The more you do now, the sooner you can have a drink!"

Today I had the - oh this is why the bar really sucks - moment. I went to work out, then had the husband drop me off at school where I was meeting someone to study. He left and... the building was closed. And, I forgot my cell phone. My anxiety spiked and I ate three cookies on my walk home. Still, after wasting a lot of time this morning I had a pretty productive day of Con law despite lots of random feelings of I will NEVER learn all this. EVER. And I want more cookies.

Now we're going to go with some friends to see Indiana Jones. Yay!

This is the sound of settling

I am getting into a routine which is good. BUT, it involves eating a lot of crap, which must stop starting tomorrow. I pretty much work out in the morning, go to lecture from 9-1, am home by about 1:20, then eat, check e-mail, take a break, study from 2-7. It's enough time so far, but I know that the work is going to start piling up soon and I still don't know whether I'm learning anything yet. I mean, on my con law problem sets I was all stoked after the first one today because I did pretty well. Then on the next one I was operating at like a 50%. Sigh.

But, my faith in barbri increased when Erwin Chemerinsky walked in to give our Con Law lectures.

I made a list of things that could keep me happy while I study for the bar. It's only week one and already I've "taken hot bath with wine," and bought a "cozy sweater." There are beautiful tulips on the kitchen table which I've commandeered. I think I'll be adding "buy fresh flowers every week" to that list. If I have to sit here for hours, I may as well be aesthetically pleased.

"This is a test to be feared"

A quote from the dude on my barbri DVD. They actually made us watch a DVD after sitting through a 4 hour lecture. But, thankfully, they are easing us into this whole studying for the bar thing. Yesterday was just an hour and a half long introduction. Our first full length lecture was torts, a fun and relatively simple subject. At least I can say that as of Day 2, I have not fallen behind on the Paced Program. And, in a stroke of very good luck, my neighborhood parking permit is the same as the one for the barbri location, so I can get street parking which means, at least as of now, I can manage to work out and shower before I go. It's still a bit of a rush, but doable. They do recommend studying for 5 - 8 hours a day after lecture. I am designing my schedule around 5. We'll see how that goes.

The One with the Graduation

This is the fourth time I've tried to start this post.

This morning I woke up at 8:00 am to blaring disco music and lots of loud people. It was Bay to Breakers. It's supposed to be a run through the city but, because San Franciscans love any excuse to dress up and drink, it always becomes a crazy, boozy parade. My parents and inlaws had the joy of seeing naked running men as well as lots of people in costumes peeing on houses. Speaking of ... a woman on our block was outside with a hose spraying anyone who tried to pee here. This is SO not the point of this post. This paragraph was supposed to say "This morning I woke up at 8:00 am and this afternoon I graduated from law school."

There are a lot of times when I don't think this is a huge accomplishment. I mean, over 400 people graduated with me and that is from only one of the hundreds of law schools in the country. And yet it started to hit me last night when I was surrounded by my supportive, generous friends who ate pizza, drank champagne, and danced to Sean Kingston with me in the hallway and with my dad to David Bowie. And it hit me a little more when I was in my robe in the parking lot of the hotel where my parents were staying a man said - "Doctorate in what field? Congrats!" And then when I sat sweating from the heavy robe in a packed audotorium between 2 of my best law school friends listening to an amazing professor followed by Willie Brown (the 2 preceding student speakers, not so much), it hit me a little more. I got all choked up. And I looked around, and I thought, damn. I busted ass and I did this.

And at dinner, toasting with the husband, his parents, his brother, my sister in law to be, my parents, and my grandmother, I realized that I did this with the support of everyone I love so much. And even though I'm the first in my family to go to college, let alone graduate from law school, I did it all standing on their shoulders. And crying on the shoulders of friends who magically knew when to get me drunk, take me shopping, or make me suck it up and get over myself.

Willie, I will remember what you said today and I will honor all the people who got me to this point and do good things.

Happy Graduation to Me

Technically, happy joint graduation present to myself and birthday present from my mom.

...

I'm done...

Oh - and...

... if you ever find yourself in San Francisco, do yourself a favor and go eat at Gary Danko. We celebrated our third anniversary there Wednesday and it was heavenly. All great, but my favorites were the lobster risotto, the cheese course, and my dessert. A trio of creme brulees. I imagined a trio of small ones when I ordered. But no! It was THREE FULL SIZED creme brulees. And one was peanut butter flavored. Seriously.

So close.

I have my last law school final on Monday. A lot of my friends are done, but I don't mind so much since I decided not to work this semester and had a cushy class schedule. I do, however, mind that I am stuck studying for corporations - a terrible class - all weekend long. Boo!

Tonight we're going to drink some wine and watch American Gangster. Tomorrow night I'm babysitting for two awesome girls (I've got to finance all my workouts and beauty regimens somehow.)And a week from Sunday law school is officially over. I anticipate a long, reflective post of some sort. The preview is ... It was challenging, sometimes I was a bitch, and sometimes I cried, but I am glad I went to law school. More to come.