Stick a fork in me...

... for better or worse, I am DONE.

And, sufficiently intoxicated. Yay for pomigranite infused tequila.

A Bar Exam Miracle

So let's see, where to start...I guess I'll go with chronological but the good stuff is at the end.

I got here yesterday and settled in, walked from the hotel to the coffee shop to the conference center then decided to go see Step Brothers. It was funny, but I had a mild panic attack in the middle trying to remember UCC provisions. I have a stock pile of healthy food but decided to forego it for a veggie burger, fries, and a Vanilla shake from the amazing Nation's Giant Burger . I had mild anxiety all night, but managed to skim some outlines and get enough sleep.

This morning I got ready, bumped some Eminem 'Til I Collapse and headed to Starbucks where I read trashy mags, got caffeinated and headed to the conference center. Dude, it is a total cattle herd – hundreds of people trying to get into the exam room, nerves palpable.

I was very excited to have an aisle seat… until I recognized the person who came to sit next to me. At the end of the first session he said he really liked his answers and thought the exam was cake. Then, at the end of the second session he told me all about what the best process was for organizing a performance test. But, I have to say he was very encouraging when my computer almost died! Duh duh duh...

Yes, I went to launch exam soft and it wouldn’t work. And it wouldn’t work. And I was FREAKING out internally, but trying to remain calm externally. And the guy sitting next to me was very reassuring and told me to try again. So, I just pressed the power button, turned it off, waited … and… I swear that everyone’s prayers, lit candles and good vibes powered my computer. When I pushed the power button again, Examsoft was up and ready to go.

That's a wrap

I think I am officially done studying for this...

The Time has Come Today - Time!

My way of memorizing things is to write them by hand, sometimes repeatedly. If you walked into my office, you would think I was mad based on the strewn papers with random elements scribbled all over them. Today I was using an old legal pad I found in a drawer to memorize PR - ABA: no sex with client unless pre-existing r/ship. CA: sex okay if reasonable - don't rape!

I flipped the first page and found a list of law schools and their application deadlines. I flipped another page and found mock ups of the save the date cards we did for our wedding. That feels like an eternity ago and I can't wait until I feel the same way about this exam.

The husband says to me...

... if the dog was a mortgage lender, he'd be FartyMac.

Is that hilarious or am I delirious?

::

Internet, it is a sad day when a trip to the doctor which includes a painful shot is a welcome break from studying. After the doctor, I stopped and got a Frappucino. Wow, I seriously feel like I just got away with sneaking out of my house for the weekend in high school to go on a camping trip where there would be boys and beer.

Earning his keep

One member of the family loves the bar exam - the pooch. He has gotten really used to me being home all day. I study in our spare bedroom/ office. He's not allowed on our bed, but is allowed on the spare bed and spends his days either snuggled up there or at my feet curled up by the heater under my desk. Every so often he comes and sits by me and demands attention by putting his head in my lap. When he does, I use him as a memorization tool - telling him all about personal jurisdiction in a funny voice. I wish I could take him to the test.

I need a new plan - STAT

So, it hit me today that I need to have all this shit memorized in 11 days. Depending on how you count them, there are 12 - 16 subjects tested on the CA bar. So, let's say 12, that gives me less than a day per subject. I've been working on Wills and Trusts all day, but it took me forever just to feel like I understand it. Then, I tried to start memorizing and realized I needed a schedule, had a little melt down and have spent the last 15 minutes staring at my surroundings - to do lists, stacks of books, scattered flashcards - and trying to figure out the best approach to the next 11 days. Do I abandon practice essays in favor of memorization? Do I worry less about precise memorization and keep cranking out the essays? Start drinking redbull around the clock? AAARAKJHG:KJN.

Advice welcome...

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

Today is the 2 week, one day mark. I am all over the place emotionally - one minute I am in "bring it on" mode, I randomly cry, other times I am just exhausted and numb. BUT, I am thankful that I am maintaining for the most part and that I can even sleep. There are, however, two songs that are sort of playing in my head at all times, even in my dreams. In which, I am always trying to work something out and figure out the elements of something, but in some completely bizarre apocalypse type movie. Like, if I can just come up with all the causes of action and elements for products liability, I will save the world, specifically all of its puppies. The songs are Madonna and Justin Timberlake's 4 Minutes to Save the World which at least I like and, God help me Danity Kane's Damaged.

The sad part is, I know that they will actually stay in my head and be there during the bar. In fact, I distinctly remember 4 Minutes being in my head during my Corporations final.

Heard in the 'hood

There was a house fire in our neighborhood earlier this evening, turned out to be okay - every one's fine, minor damage. Shortly after it was contained, I went with the husband to the corner store. A woman came in and asked, "What happened on the corner?" The Clerk said, "It was a fire on the top floor." "Oh," she said, "So it wasn't a shootin' then? Good." I was a bit shocked and the husband told me, "Clearly you don't spend enough time at the corner store."

In other news...we had a simulated written exam today. It wasn't pretty. But I have to keep telling myself I can pass, I can pass, I can pass.

Refreshed

Last night I slept for nine hours. Sure, I had some crazy dreams that involves screwing up things on the bar, but I woke up feeling better than I have for a while. I think part of the reason is because a friend said to me yesterday: "I am making a conscious decision to pass this exam." I have made the same decision. Sounds cheesy, but I really think it is helping. After my good night's sleep, I got up this morning, worked out, ran a few errands, and thanks to a gift certificate from A, treated myself to cute new workout clothes. I am sitting down to write some Wills and Trusts essays - a subject that I feel completely clueless about. But, I feel strangely okay with that.

Ow! My eye!

So, I have a type of contact sollution that is peroxide/ acid based and you're not supposed to put directly in your eye. It's been fine the past year that I've been using it but I was a tired space cadet this morning and squirted it in my eye. I started screaming because it burned like crazy. My first thought was "OH NO. I'm going to go blind and I can't take the bar if I'm blind."

Luckily the husband knows what to do in these types of situations. He put me in the tub, pajamas and all, and rinsed my eye with shower water for 15 minutes.

Thankfully, I don't think I will go blind. Not so thankfully, I think that means I still have to take the bar.