It's all going to be okay. No, really.

Went and saw Match Point with B on Friday -- loved it. Another friend called when I was on my way home and met me at my house for a cocktail. She stayed for a fabulous dinner cooked by the husband. A wonderful Friday. Then the friend left and I lost it. Like bat shit insane lost it. I've been trying to be more positive and less self-esteem-in-the-toilet this semester. I'm working harder in hopes that it pays off, but I'm trying to smoke less and be healthier and more balanced and blah, blah, blah. I have a rocking summer job lined up. I should be happy about all this, yes? Tell it to the (wonderful) husband who (God bless him) had to listen to me blather incoherently about how I feel inadequate all the time and how I'm not a good law student or wife and I'm ugly and law school is making me fat and our house is a mess and wah!!!

The only reason I can come up with is that I've been repressing lots of little feelings of stress and inadequacy and they just caught up with me. Last week was exhausting and it all hit at once after too much wine. I suffered from what we in the SKH household call "puppy meltdown."

I woke up today feeling a little hungover and puffy, but resigned. I outlined and read for contracts and took the dog to the park. I drank Conundrum while taking a hot bath...

Don't think I was supposed to see this

Edits to my moot court brief were dropped in my SIC folder today. A post it from our TA to our teacher stuck to the front said:

"Here are the briefs. They have a LOT of work to do!"

Every day is like Sunday

Today I took my first full day off since the semester started. We headed south. Stopped at the Pacifica Peer where the husband drooled at the amount of crabs people were catching -- needless to say he is going crabbing tomorrow. Then we drove down to Half Moon Bay where we checked out a lot of boats and ate oysters. Bummer of the day when we asked for J. Lohr Chardonay and were served Rossi for $6 a glass. Otherwise, perfect.

Came home and cleaned a lot of house. While finally putting away a lot of stuff from our wedding (!) felt satisfying, I got depressed reading old essays from college. I miss the days when I got constant feedback on my work and profs had nice things to say about my talent as a writer. I miss thinking about existentialism and alternating between essays on Camus and Elvis Costello. After drinking more wine, I wrote my undergrad advisor who taught several of my writing seminars. I told him that law school is education as an extreme sport and I like that about it. But I miss being creative. And as much as I made a conscious decision that law school would enable me to be a doer as opposed to an academic, a writer/ observer...

I'm going to drink about that.

Dorking out to the Supremes

My environmental law class has an extra credit assignment -- betting how each justice will vote in 3 upcoming clean water act cases. So, I thought that I would spend some time looking through recent stuff.

I am reading the transcript of an oral argument and laughing to tears. Justice Breyer is hilarious. And I can't decide how sad it makes my life that I think that. Anyway. Breyer asks counsel: "So, if I punch a great big hole in the bottom of lake eerie, I didn't violate the act." Counsel responds something like No. "But, if I take a great big dump truck of dirt and dump it in lake Eerie and displace all the water, I violate the act?" The counsel not only responds in the affirmative but continues to say "We only bring in a little dirt, at the margins." And Justice Breyer replies: "Okay then. So your argument is that if you only violate the act a little bit, you get off?"

bursting with moot court joy -- literally

When I get stressed or spend way too much time on the computer, blood vessles in my eyes burst. Okay, according to my scientist husband they do not really burst, but rather strain and become aggravated. Either way it is gross and painful, which is why I think that saying they burst more accurately describes what happens.

Special thanks to Marjorie Knoller and implied malice second degree murder.

The key(s) to brief writing success

(Idea stolen from Bevy)

1. Completely forget lunch plans with friend
2. Clear off work space
3. Have beverages ready -- herbal tea first, coffee and diet coke waiting in the wings
4. Get dog exhausted so that he doesn't even raise his head from the couch when the mail guy comes
4. Organize CD conducive to brief writing
5. Blog about how ready you are to write brief

GUV-UH-NA-TOR

Our pooch has a "dog father." (He also has a dog mother who lives out of state. They send each other postcards.) A few weeks ago the dog father bought him a toy -- a stuffed version of the GUV-UH-NATOR. On one side, Ahhnold is showing off his muscles wearing shorts and a muscle tank reading "XTERMINATOR." Tattoos reading "I'll be back" and "Hasta La Vista, Baby!" adorn random body parts. On the reverse side, Ahhnold of Cal-eee-forn-yuh fame is clad in a suit complemented by a naked woman tie. His badge reads "governator" and his watch says that it is "time to raise taxes." In between lies a squeeker and some white fuzz that would comprise the boy's entire diet if we let it.

So, right now the pooch is totally high on GUV-UH-NATOR FETCH. He's totally a jock at heart, and very, very adept at catching tennis balls, basket balls, and little stuffed celebrities. The cutest part? Before he lets us throw the GOVERNATOR, he thrashes from side to side like a great white shark gutting a whale. Then he places the slimy, drool ridden toy in my lap and looks at me with strung out on PCP eyes that say: "If you love me you will THROW THE FUCKING GUV-UH-NA-TOR NOW BIOTCH."

From my notes a few weeks ago

"Suspend this until you get to MeLane v. Central bank or some shit that is the key notice case re: when notice is attached to property."

I am one classy law student.

Where am I and why am I in this handbasket?

Is this romper room? Oh, no? I'm in contracts? Well, there are some annoying kids in this sandbox...A friend and I realized that we should not sit across the room from each other because, well, when certain people say things in class, we pretty much laugh out loud, roll our eyes at our neighbor and then glance at each others' bright red face from afar. To top off that romper room feel, we took a class picture in the middle of class.

Apparently Prof Prop gave Prof K unsolicited advice about needing to focus more on teaching law and less time on theory. Interesting given the fact that she spent two weeks talking about Shelley v. Kramer and about an hour on the Rule of Perpetuities.

And, my final thought is that food analogies should not be used in an evening class:

Moot Court Teacher: Theme is the garlic and onions, right? Any good Italian sauce starts with garlic and onions, it's the base, the heart. Same thing with the theme for your argument. Mmmm...sauce...

I kind of like Beavers

You Were a Beaver

You are able to get things done, through persistence and innovation. Success and productivity are what make you happy in life.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

uh

I want to write an engaging, funny, and insightful post for my (3 or so) readers.

A FUNNY thing in my future: going to a pro hockey game tonight. I know nothing about the sport, but am excited to check it out. I'm sure it will be ENGAGING.

Let's see...

I volunteered this morning for the second week learned about the 50,000 papers required to file for guardianship. That was INSIGHTFUL.

Rewinding to FUNNY moments from yesterday, a section-mate brought candy to Prof Crim for the second time (we've only been in school for like 3.5 weeks). Another person in our section, who I generally think is smart and a nice guy, raised his hand to kiss Teach Civ Pro's ass. (Note: I call him Teach Civ Pro instead of Prof Civ Pro, because that's how he refers to himself during class.) It went something like this: "Well, the article written, quite persuasively and intelligently, I thought, by you, that was cited by the SUPREME COURT said..." I did not think that comment was very INSIGHTFUL. Nor is the outline for my moot court brief that I just finished.

Off to read some engaging, funny, and insightful contracts.

(Uptight) Everything's Alright

HOORAY! My friend got his transplant! The surgery was this morning and he is doing really well.

Grandpa Wes

My grandfather is quite the character. I have described him to friends as Charles Bukowski without the talent and with more money. Basically he's cranky and drinks a lot. He's a shysty, hard working okie with amazing business sense and little concern for other people's feelings. For example, he did not give us a wedding gift but stuffed $200 dollars between the (admittedly luscious) breasts of my friend/ photographer. My grandmother, the only person on the face of this earth who could put him in check God bless her soul, passed away a little over two years ago.

Tonight, driving home with my good news, I got a phone call from grandpa Wes:

Me: "Well, I have good news."

GW: "uh-huh."

Me: "I got a summer job -- the one I really wanted."

GW: "uh - huh, how much money you gonna make."

Me: "Well, it's unpaid but it's such a great opportu-"

GW: "They're not gonna pay you? Goddamn, I'll tell you that George Bush had runit this world. I called you because I saw him on TV and they said he was gonna raise the price of college. Isn't that awful?"

(I'm conflicted -- I love that my grandfather and I are politically aligned. But, is 'congratulations' to much to ask for?)

Me: "So how are you doing?"

GW: "I'm living a miserable life. I had a plan and it got shot to shit when Doris died. Boy, I'll tell you. It's like my good friend Tommy Tompson. His boy's 33 years old and just got out of rehab. So, I'm going to help him out. I gave him about a thousand dollars today and I'm gonna help him get a job with the union."

(I almost get into an accident for the following reasons: 1) He is giving a GRAND to a recovering DRUG ADDICT but didn't give me a wedding gift and hasn't helped me at all with school. 2) I know that he truly misses my grandma, I really believe that. BUT, he was having an affair with his housekeeper when she died. So, I pull over to talk to him while in a safe, parked position.)

Me: "Well, that's real nice of you." (Reverting to my own, long lost Oklahoma twang)

GW: "Yup, I have a bunch of money and no reason to live anymore."

Sippin' Chandon

Well, not now because I'm at school. But soon because...I got a summer job! Not only a job, but the one that I really wanted...at the local District Attorney's office.

Wednesday Wants to Know

Thanks to Elle, here is an insight into my classroom etiquette, or lack thereof.

1) What is your favorite classroom distraction? I'm trying to be good this semester, really, I am. But, when I can't stand it anymore, I peek at GoFugYourself.com.

2) What is your classroom attendance/behavior policy? I only missed one class last semester. Gawd I'm a nerd...a scared 1L nerd.

3) What do you do if you have gotten called out by the professor and you are...
a) not prepared on the material for the day:
Bullshit an answer, relying on "co-counsel," by which I mean looking slyly looking at the notes of the friend I sit next to.

b) not paying a bit of attention to the gaseous windbag in the front of the room:
Stall with some bullshit while waiting for a gunner to raise their hand.

c) touching yourself?
This one is just creepy.

I "Huang" to be with you

These SVU Valentines almost make it all better. Thanks B for the link!

Feel good words of the day

"Added by admin to not selected."

I submitted a handful of resumes to various employers who are interviewing during an OCI like event for public interest summer jobs. Interview slots were posted on a Web site today. I got none. Bah. Two words: bruised ego. Most of the jobs were public defender/ death penalty appeal types of jobs. And, my bias leans toward the prosecution so maybe I didn't really want the jobs and maybe that came through in my cover letter and maybe my resume didn't demonstrate enough committment to protecting the civil liberties of others but it would have been nice to have been picked. But still...