I feel like I have arived blawg-wise. I got a comment asking for advice:
i'm from ok and about to be an 1L in PA. I would be interested in any advice you would give--maybe how you would have done that first year differently. I am also married and am interested in what you believe are the best ways to balance the husband and the law school. First -- yay for being from OK! I lived on a farm there when I was younger and my grandfather still has a family farm there. I don't have all of my 1L grades yet, just full disclosure re: any academic advice I have. That said...
You have to put in the work and it will take a lot of time. But, there is a huge difference between putting in a ton of hours and actually studying. (The old work hard, not smart addage.) It's hard to know exactly what that means at first and I still don't have it down. What worked for me was actually reading all the cases, outlining from the beginning of the semester, and then condensing my outlines into smaller checklists around the end of the semester. Some people love study guides, and barely bother to read the cases. I found them extremely helpful for some classes, but thus far have the best grade in the class for which I used no study guide.
Sticking to a schedule that mirrored my husband's was crucial in terms of balancing. I worked 9-5 every week day. A lot of times that turned into 7-7. But, we had dinner (and wine!) together nearly every night. On the weekends, I tried to work from 10-5. But, when I needed a day off to spend time with husband, or friends, or on myself, I did it. If you don't you will just be too burned out (I was still pretty fried by the end of both semesters, but think it could have been much worse.) Keep doing things you like. You will have to give stuff up, and there will be things you can't do as often, but do not give up everything. Outlets are important.
Being married the first year can be tricky. For me it was also grounding and rewarding. I needed someone outside of law school to keep me in check and remind me that law school is a crazy bubble world. I needed someone who would listen to me blabbering and slobbering about how I couldn't do it anymore and how much I sucked, etc. We got into some fights because there was lots of stress for both of us. I needed a LOT from husband in the emotional support and work around the house areas. When you need those things, try to ask for them rather than expecting them and getting frustrated and yelling later (not that I did that or anything.) Law school can change you in some weird ways. As one of our 1L professor's said, don't bring your lawyer mind into your relationship. It can be hard not to, but when your spouse is telling you how they feel it is totally rude and unfair to look for the weakness in his/her argument rather than listening to what they are trying to tell you.
Back to the importance of scheduling: a key for me was NOT studying in the law school library. Of course, I would study there between classes. Otherwise, I did my work at home. It's hard enough without seeing all of your classmates doing X,Y,Z. Even though you don't need to do what they are doing, you will likely feel guilty that you're not and think that you should be doing what they are or doing more.
That's all I can think of right now. A, B, others, advice to add??